can u get pink eye on your cock?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
