Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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