Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
