today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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