I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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