pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
