Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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