If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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