And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
