you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
