Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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