Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Even my vagina gasped.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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