Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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