how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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