He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
