Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
