they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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