his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
