true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
