brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have fence marks all over my body
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
