If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
