? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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