He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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