there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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