i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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