mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize