I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
