just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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