my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
