trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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