Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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