You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
