i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
