sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
