Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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