who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
