this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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