He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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