i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
