So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
