Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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