Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the day after is always just damage control
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
