It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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