remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
