Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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