google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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