i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
