I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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