new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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