he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
