I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
