dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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