I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
