bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
