it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
