So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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