RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
