If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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