she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
