Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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