the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
