Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
