Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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