I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
