I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
