An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
