Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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